It's kind of hard to fathom, as I've never had an immediate family member pass away. Grandma was a piece of the good days, back when we went to seven mile park and played battleship with the ducks... climbed really high moss-covered stone stairs in the woods, went home to the farm and explored all the old things laying around.
She never forgot anyone's birthday, and mine was always special.
The good days were as recent as a couple years ago, when I stood for hours in the middle of the pastures in the middle of the night in the middle of the winter. Climbed every building and got in every secret place. Built a large snowman in the front, then moved it all the way to the middle of the field just to confuse Grandma. Rode my bike around in the fog, and defended the farm from "shadow creatures". Being immature and loving it.
Now it's all gone... the farm is sold and probably torn down, and Grandma is gone, forever. They took her off life support barely an hour ago.
I have a job now, and I intend on keeping it. In a few months I'll be taking online college for 3d animation.
Once I have enough money, my parents will help pay for commercial licenses for software, and I'll be on my own.
Because there is no going back...